Monday, October 4, 2010

conflict. it's parenting, not teaching

absolutely brutal today. yesterday did end up devolving into a screamfest (i'm happy to report largely on chana's end, not mine, though i'm sooooooooooooo tempted). after these things happen, i think it over and feel like it's my job to enforce better boundaries and not let her scream like that. it didn't happen in chumash, it happened in math and i sent her to time out and she stayed there of her own volition until it was time to go to bed. (we were working at night).

today we did the new pesukim; they went fine. we started doing rashi, it went ok until she has this idea in her head that she doesn't have to translate, so whenever i make her it leads to tantrumming. then we were a bit pressed for time because she likes to meet some kids in the playground. and for some reason, even though we've been doing chazara for the same words the last 5 or so times, it seems like nothing is sticking. and then she shrieks i have to tell her, etc etc. i asked her what she thinks we should do since she's not remembering them, and she said do it like we did "bilti" and "lachen" because she remembers those. the way we did that is by drilling randomly outside of chumash.

so i compiled a small list for drilling. zarachem, kares, naftza, and kotz. she was getting annoyed at me about repetitively asking, but i said that's what she told me to do so she's accepted it.

at one point, she told me i don't care about her. she said i'm only trying to get her to stop crying coz i want her to learn. i said why does she think i want her to learn. she said I DON'T KNOW!!

we still haven't finished rashi. she's stomped off with the door slammed.

please note. this is not a teaching issue. this is a PARENTING issue. it happens to manifest in the teaching, since that is something we are having conflict over. but this latest stomping off was actually because i told her to go shower. she's screaming at me and not speaking nicely about a lot of things.

ps she woke jack up, too. boy do i want to go stomping up there and get into her face and hiss at her. but i won't. we did have a lovely poignant moment earlier where i tried to hug her and she plaintively cried that she wants a hug when she's so angry but she's so angry she doesn't want a hug. i knew exactly how she feels and was very understanding, and i suggested that i hug and she withdraw, or she hug and i stand still, and she said no but kept kind of hugging and withdrawing and i followed her lead.
i think i'm going to silently go upstairs and mime to her that she woke up jack. unless she's already in the shower.

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